Saturday, January 30, 2010

junk (food) mail

Every couple of weeks I'll get a letter or an advertisement in my mailbox from some obscure Atlanta wedding vendor trying to drum up some business. (I went to one of those cheesy bridal expos back in June, so I assume these local folks are getting my address from the form I had to fill out to get into that.) A lot of times if it's obvious that I'm not interested, I'll just recycle it, but today I had a letter from Suburban Rental, which I thought perhaps could be related to trolley dude #2 , so I opened it.


"They say 'The Early Bird Gets the Worm,'" it reads. "I'm not sure why anyone would want a worm but I don't want to get in trouble with whoever 'They' is. So, here's a worm. But, just in case you'd rather have something else for being early, How about up to 40% off rentals for your wedding or reception?"


GOO! Somebody STAPLED A GUMMI WORM to this mailing. Just let that sink in for a sec...

Yeah. Having been a couple of days in the mail (although, now that I look I don't see a postmark over the wonkily applied stamps, so there's no telling), poor Mr. Gummi Worm had been flattened and appeared slightly crusty. What are the dudes at this rental company thinking?? Do they expect prospective clients to be like, "Sweet! Free gummi worm! Thanks, guys!"? I mean, yes, it got my attention... but mostly because it's bizarre. Not to mention it's a terrible abuse of delicious snacks. And what about that poor gunky stapler?

The funny thing is, while the fliers in the mailing were pretty ghetto, their website is fairly legit. But for me, the gummi worm sealed their fate. That and the following copy (verbatim) from their flier:
Our slogan is: Those guys Rent Everything! That's because our customers kept telling us "You guys rent everything".
Guys. DO BETTER.

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