Friday, April 30, 2010

Movie(s) on marriage

I just came across a post in my google reader from the Wishpot wedding blog about creative wedding quotes culled from literature, poetry, movies and probably Bartlett's. As I scanned, the last name Campbell jumped out at me, and the movie title "When Harry Met Sally." Instantly, my personal favorite movie wedding-related quote sprang to mind. It's from Wayne's World, of course:
Garth Algar: I've never seen you so mental over a girl before. Are you gonna marry her?

Wayne Campbell: Garth, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.
Unfortunately, a YouTube clip of that moment is not to be found, and I don't want to bother trying to embed a .wav here, so you'll just have to rely on your own memories for the inflection. Surely all of my readers have seen this fine film! If you by chance haven't heard this bit (for shame), it's the thirteenth one down on this website.

On another Wayne's World/wedding-related note, please enjoy this clip spoofing the final scenes of The Graduate!

"1 Month to Go!" from the Knot (belated)

Although the Knot has apparently taken me off its quasi-useful emails list (and left me on its various utterly obnoxious emails lists), my bride buddy Shelley is still in its good graces and received the 1-month email. I wanted to see how I was doing based on the Knot's metrics, as I've been doing all along, so I had her forward it to me. Let's see how I stack up.

This month's directives: "Find gifts, pick programs, and make a great toast!"

1. I've had my bridesmaids gifts in hand (or in closet, I guess) for months now, but I admit that I have yet to find tokens of appreciation for two of our musicians, one of the greeters and two readers. I've had Jon's present in my mom's closet since September! Jon's folks' gift is on order and my parents' is in progress, so we're pretty well on track with that item, I think. I love to give fun/awesome presents, so I can get a little hung up when an idea doesn't come right away. Y'all will hear all about these excellent presents post-wedding!

2. If by pick programs they mean lay-out-and-find-someone-to-print programs, I'm also on top of this one. I had a draft program before our final meeting with the pastor! I've hunted down everybody's full names and am just waiting on one or two more musical selections to round out the prelude, then I should be good to go. I'm about to call a local printer for a quote. On track!

3. I've told Jon that I will probably say something at the rehearsal dinner and/or reception -- I think of the two of us I am more likely to be the public speaker. I've had some thoughts running through my head of short and sweet things to say. We'll see how it turns out!

So, there you have it, my final Knot to-do assessment. In general I think I have kicked ass in being on top of/ahead of things. (Not that I don't still have a page-long to-do list on my fridge for these last few weeks.) Go me!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Rehearsal dress success!!

Hooray! The pretty Shoshanna dress came in the mail today, and it fits! And it's lovely! And I am definitely wearing it for the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner (and lots of future weddings). I would post a picture of myself in it but I don't want to put it on again and I don't think I can get a good angle on the full-length mirror. Perhaps over the weekend.

Next, I need to figure out if the shoes I have are suitable or if I will require different ones. I've been to a party at Canoe before in skinny heels and it got sort of difficult walking through the gardens, so it may be that a good wedge sandal is in order...

Anyway, many many thanks to my Seester and my friend Caroline (and, I suppose, the shitty inventory at Perimeter Mall) for getting me off my duff to buy myself a nice, bright dress for the occasion!

Licensed to wed (and some name-changing thoughts)

As you probably gathered from the title of this post, Jon and I just got our marriage license. For some reason that item is not on my very long to-do list, but I will write it in and then check it off. Progress!

awkward self-pic outside the courthouse

As luck would have it, my office is right across the street from the Fulton County Courthouse. (Actually, this is about the only time that such a location is fortunate. Make that car tag renewals, jury duty, and getting a marriage license.) Jon planned to drive down to meet me at lunchtime so we could walk over together. It should have taken maybe 20 minutes.

But of course it wouldn't be that easy! Jon called me around the appointed meeting time and said he had gotten turned around after obeying the parking deck signs that told him only monthly cardholders could enter, so I gave him instructions on how to get back and where to park. When he arrived, I asked how much cash he had -- I'd just looked on the website and we needed cash or a money order to pay for the license. He had $4 and I had like $23, and since we weren't sure if they'd give us the thanks-for-doing-pre-marriage-counseling discount, we had to walk a few blocks to a building with a Wachovia ATM. Then we went to the Fulton County building, which we quickly realized was not where we needed to be... Fulton County Courthouse was what we wanted. We tried to cross at the government center pedestrian bridge, which was closed. Doh! Finally we just went around to the other side of the courthouse building, went through security and managed to locate the probate court. Oof.

When we reached the reception desk we were instructed to take a marriage license application and fill it out but DO NOT SIGN. So, we went around the corner and found seats at the counter where I filled out the form. All was fine and dandy until about halfway down when I hit the line that said "DESIGNATED SURNAME (name to be used after marriage)." Oh. Shit. My face fell and I got that nervous icky feeling in my stomach. Not ready for this! At all!* I filled in "Ross" for Jon and left mine blank for the time being. Jon assured me he wouldn't be offended whatever I decided as I continued filling out the form.

When we got to the counter I hemmed and hawed a bit, asked the clerk if whatever I put in that blank was binding. Yep. If I wanted anything other than what I wrote there and I'd have to go through a court process to change things around. Sensing my discomfort/indecision/potential sadness at losing my name, the clerk let me leave it blank a while longer and gave us our receipt to take to the cashier. Then we had to raise our right hands and swear that all the information we gave her was accurate and true. Oh, and we did qualify for the counseling discount, so it was only $16 instead of $51! SCORE.

Back at the clerk, she sort of talked me through all the things that would need to be changed in either situation -- keeping my name or taking/adding his. I asked a couple of questions, and, not wanting to prolong this process any further, filled in my blank with "Poe Ross." Effectively, this means that all of my documents will eventually read "Kathleen Virginia Poe Ross," and I am retaining all three of my names and adding his. I'll just have to remember to sign everything Kathleen Poe Ross henceforth (since Poe Ross -- not Poe-Ross -- will constitute my last name).

I feel like this is a good compromise, if a name change can be viewed as such, because I am retaining all elements of my current name/identity and just adding his -- not dropping my family name because it makes for a crappy middle name, and not tossing my middle name which I love and which ties me to my mother's family. I mean, really, people can be called whatever they want to be called, they just have to deal with legal things in a certain way. If I want to keep being Kathleen Poe at work (which I will do, at least until I change jobs -- don't want the IT hassle) I can do that. If I want to freelance under my current byline, I can do that as well. When we file taxes or travel or have kids, people will know that we go together, but I still get to be my same old self.

What do y'all think? Would you be conflicted? Would you be happy to replace a disliked middle name or generic surname? If you're married, was it a difficult decision for you?


*I have been wrestling with the question of whether or not to change my name and actually was going to post about it yesterday but didn't get the chance. In short, I have been surprised at what an internal struggle this has been for me -- I never thought I would consider not changing my name until I was staring down the decision. Lyn at Another Damn Wedding summed up pretty much perfectly the things was I feeling in her post about name-changing. I am not quite as much on the same page as Meg at A Practical Wedding, but found both of these recent posts thought-provoking as well.

Just pointing out...

So, I'll try to avoid too many of these posts in the coming weeks since they're painfully obvious, but HOLY HELL 23 DAYS. Really, just three weeks until the official festivities kick off with the bridesmaids dinner on the Thursday evening before the wedding. I'm within a week of being able to stalk the long-term weather forecast for Atlanta. How is it almost May? What happened to April?

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Old-Timey Tuesday: the '60s, continued

So, I think I might have unwittingly recalled last week's post when I went back in to revise it... so if you missed the first round of pictures from this lovely '60s wedding, look back to April 21!

Anyway, last week we left off toward the end of wedding preparations, so we'll pickup with the before and after, since I don't have any during.

I assume this is pre-wedding based on where it was in the stack of photos... Here we have the groomsmen, looking quite dapper in their white dinner jackets!

And here's Betty, the lovely bride! Since she's in the narthex I'm guessing this is before she's gone down the aisle.

And then they had a wedding ceremony!

And then they took more pictures. Mr. & Mrs. Jimmie B. Reeves! May I draw your attention to the AMAZING outfit the maid of honor is wearing? Long teal dress with matching mini-veil and short white gloves? So awesome.

I think this next one is at some point during the photo session. The maid of honor has taken her dyed-to-match shoes off and is chilling with the minister.

Back to the portraits! Here Chub and Betty are with my great-grandparents, parents of the groom. Mimi, on the right, is where my middle name (Virginia) comes from. Also, I am loving the gloves.

Parents of the happy couple!

And that brings us to the end of this installment of Old-Timey Tuesday. Next week we'll check out the reception!

Monday, April 26, 2010

Wherein our photographers make us look like total badasses

As promised, here are more pictures from our engagement shoot with the incredible and artful Jesse and Whitney of Our Labor of Love. SO AWESOME. As an aside to the main point of this post -- the awesome pictures -- I must say that I am super pleased with the outfits we chose, as well as my decision to have a professional deal with my hair that morning. Lord knows I would have made myself a frizzy mess!

Anyway, I posted a bunch on facebook (which you can see here) so I tried to pick some different ones for the blog. Enjoy!

all pictures copyright Our Labor of Love

Weekend update

Saturday morning I went with my bride buddy Shelley to get our nails done and catch up, which was a great start to the day, even though the remainder of the day was rainy* and sort of frustrating. After nails, I headed out to Perimeter Mall, which I haven't been to in a long while. They have Anthropologie, Bloomingdales, J. Crew, BCBG, Macy's and Nordstrom, so I thought surely I might find some viable rehearsal dinner dress options. Ohhh no. It was a massive, epic fail. (Though I did get some returns done.) After 2+ hours of hunting, I left empty-handed.

But! Later that night, likely spurred on by my utter lack of success at the mall, I ordered a dress that I hope will be the solution to my problem:

You may recognize this from my last post. I had a heck of a time tracking it down in the right size (or what I hope will be the right size), but eventually I did. My friend Caroline was right when she commented on the previous post -- this dress is bright and happy and a nice cut, and it's actually in the color scheme I found myself looking for in all the stores at the mall. The tracking tells me I should have it in hand by Wednesday, so I will let y'all know how it turns out! Keep your fingers crossed...


*Digression: The lady doing my nails told me that a bride had been in there the day before and told her about plans to take wedding pictures in the park nearby at 3 p.m. on Saturday. Well, when 3 p.m. rolled around, the sky was dark and rumbly and it was raining cats and dogs. Sunday morning then came in like a lamb, with mild temperatures and lovely soft sunshine. Jon and I took a walk around the park in the late afternoon, and I wondered aloud if I would have been pissed if my wedding day was black and stormy and the next day was all bunnies and rainbows. Tough to say! Even though all of our proceedings will be indoors, rain can limit places for photos and generally cast a pall over the day.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Rehearsal dress recon

After yesterday's dress fail, I spent at least an hour scouring the internet for something appropriate for the rehearsal and dinner. Most of these cost more than I probably want to spend, but it's what has turned up in my online searching. Here's what I've found so far:

saks (phoebe couture)

saks (rebecca taylor)

bloomingdales (shoshanna)

bloomingdales (BCBG...ignore the heinous necklace)

bloomingdales (trina turk)

What do y'all think? Do any of those say rehearsal dinner to you? I will probably hit the mall tomorrow to see what's on the racks that I can lay hands on, so I'll report back after that excursion...

Thursday, April 22, 2010


After stalking my local Anthropologie store for weeks to see if they had something in stock, I bit the bullet and ordered a potential rehearsal dinner dress -- in four sizes (well, really, two sizes in regular and petite) so I wouldn't have to deal with the hassle of returning or exchanging. It seemed ideal for a tented rehearsal dinner on the banks of the Chattahoochee River:

Nice and summery, right? Perfect! Until you put it on and realize that you look like a milkmaid. (Alternatively, that you look like Louisa from The Sound of Music in her curtain dress, only less gangly and more busty.)

In addition to being generally unfortunate, the dress's sash is most definitely not patterned blue, as shown above; it's white, which actually makes a big difference (and not in a good way). Also, the dress becomes quite short-waisted if you have any substantial surface area to cover in the chest region. It almost became an empire waist rather than a natural waist on me, which, coupled with the poofiness of the skirt, sorta made me look pregnant. Oh, and the fabric was a little too casual for my liking.

So, basically, this dress was an utter FAIL. All that money charged on the credit card and $20 in non-refundable shipping for naught! But what will I wear? Where do I start looking? All J. Crew has are bridesmaids dresses, essentially, and the colors at Banana, Ann Taylor and Loft are all ugly this season. Wise readers, please tell me where to look for a not-too-fancy rehearsal/rehearsal dinner dress!

One month to go!

And yet there is no email from the Knot in my inbox! What gives? They harass me for ten months and then bail with one to go? I feel so betrayed. How will I ever know what to do in these next few weeks???

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Old-Timey Tuednesday: a '60s wedding

After our brief stopover in the 1980s, we're stepping back in time -- about 14 years, to be precise -- to 1968, when my mom's Uncle Chub (real name Jimmie, Grandma Jean's little brother) got married. Mom tells me that the wedding took place in Social Circle, Ga., and I know that Chub married in his late 30s and was a good bit older than his bride, Betty, but other than that I don't have a ton of information on the event.

These first pictures are from what I assume to be the rehearsal dinner or a pre-wedding reception. Here are the groom- and bride-to-be:

and the tasty spread:

And here's my lovely Grandma Jean again, at right, with her mother:

Next we have some wedding-day preparations. Not much to be gathered from these pictures, but I just love the moments that somebody caught on film. These fellows look like important people in the wedding, fathers, maybe, and they're getting some suits out of the car. (Mom, can you identify?) [Note: Mom says the man on the right is her grandpa, my great-grandpa, Chub's dad. You can definitely tell!] Kodak moment!

And here the father of the groom helps Chub get ready:

Next week you'll get to see the bride, Betty, and the amazing getup her maid of honor is wearing. Get excited!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


I just got an email from Jesse with a link to a slideshow of our engagement shoot! Daaahhh so excited!! Unfortunately for you, their website is quite secure, so I'll have to wait until I get a CD with the files on it to share them with y'all. Thanks to the magic of the "print screen" button, however, I can give you a sneak peek...

photos copyright Our Labor of Love

Holy crap! So awesome!

Monday, April 19, 2010

I caved.

Really, I just got tired of looking. Combine that with a well timed email from Kleinfeld Bridal pimping Adorn's fine jewelry rental business, special sale prices and a sister who enjoys the opportunity to play enabler, and guess who's got some wedding earrings coming to her? This girl.

I mentioned these in a previous post about earrings and have kept coming back to them. The rental price has dropped by $45 since I first saw them and I'm getting to the point where I just want unresolved wedding things to be resolved, so I took the bait. Here they are!

The picture below, showing the lovely earrings on an actual person, is what really sealed the deal for me:

Can't wait to try them on on May 20! They better not suck!

April showers...

...precede May weddings. Which means that ours is getting close! All told, there have been four showers during our engagement, two of which involved only me and a smallish group of girls/moms. The other two have been co-ed, and the most recent (and final) of these had a theme: Stock the bar! Needless to say, Jon was particularly excited for this one.

I'll cut to the chase and show you the goods, because, y'all, we are STOCKED. So much so that our booze exceeds the capacity of our "bar" space and some of it now lives in a wine box on the floor in the dining room. I've been thinking of fun parties to throw that will help us work our way through this haul.

Holy crap! I think the prize for most creative went to Lindsay, a bridesmaid, and her husband John, who gave us the cooler in the back, a bottle of Everclear, a bottle of 151 and a recipe for Hunch Punch/Jungle Juice. Do these guys know how to party or what? My personal favorite would have to be the drink tub full of at least a dozen different beers (back left in the photo). The Waffle House coaster was a nice touch as well.

You can't have a shower without someone making a ribbon bouquet, and my friend Mary Jacob did an excellent job on this one. Little Man was quite intrigued by the dangly new toy we brought home...


Once I got the bouquet away from Little Man, I added it to the pile in my cat-proof storage space atop the hall bookshelf with all my music. This area is also home to my pimp-bride chalice and my growing collection of the Williams-Sonoma tartlet molds that come on gift-wrapped presents.

Four showers' worth of ribbon bouquets is a lot! I'm not sure if I should condense them into one rehearsal bouquet or hand out a few to my bridesmaids to practice with as well. Does anybody know what's traditionally done?

Thursday, April 15, 2010

OH SHIT: progress!

Of the ten things on my OH SHIT list, I've managed to check off a few in the last couple of days and make progress on some others. Here's what I've done:
  • Find a suitable underthing before 4/20 fitting
DONE! My bridesmaid Josephine and I went to Intimacy at the mall after work tonight and both scored excellent bustier-type things to wear under our dresses. Also, it was fun to go do girly stuff together for an evening. :)
  • Find location for bridesmaids luncheon-turned-dinner
A chips-and-queso-heavy Mexican dinner last Sunday night turned me off to the notion of Mexican fare two days before the wedding. I've been trying to pick a restaurant that would avoid American/Southern food, since that's what we'll have at the rehearsal dinner, reception and post-wedding brunch. With Mexican out, I decided on Italian -- specifically pizza! We'll be hitting up Fritti in Inman Park for a family-style pizza-centric feast. Nom.
  • Procure Cheerwine, or recruit an uncle to procure it for me and bring it with him
Uncle Steve said he'll probably make the run up I-85 to Gaffney this weekend to pick up a few cases of real-deal Cheerwine that he'll bring with him when he comes for the wedding. Done and done. I love you Uncle Steve!

So, Three down, seven to go. The next few items are things that are close to done or at least underway:
  • Finalize ceremony music
The only thing left to do is to pick out a piece for the bridesmaids' part of the processional. Prelude, seating of mamas, my processional, solo, hymn and recessional are all ready to go. I even got the sheet music from our friend who is singing to give to my friend who is accompanying her. Big time progress!
  • Make programs, find a printer and EXECUTE
Well, the programs are pretty close to complete. All I have to do is add in said processional music, figure out the appropriate titles for all musical selections and figure out the back page. Mom is asking her graphic designer friend about printers, and after we pick one we will EXECUTE. I'm hoping this will be in early May so it's out of the way well in advance of the wedding.
  • Slideshow
Well, I haven't yet farmed this one out, but Jon stepped up and scanned in all the photos of him as a young'n that we brought back from Idaho. That's pretty key.

That leaves me with half the list undecided or incomplete for the time being. I will probably go ahead and order the dress I've had my eye on for the rehearsal dinner since it hasn't shown up in my local Anthropologie store yet, so that will help me chip away at these remaining tasks:
  • Figure out what kind of guestbook I am making and MAKE IT with enough time for it to get to me before the wedding
  • Determine parent, reader/greeter/soloist and remaining hostess gifts
  • Get a dress for the rehearsal dinner
  • Decide on earrings/accessories, ideally before 4/20 fitting
  • Reserve reception-hotel transportation; figure out to which hotel said transportation will be transporting us
With a little more than five weeks to go I think I should be able to manage the rest of the OH SHIT list. Whew!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Old-Timey Tuednesday: Here come the 80s!

We won't linger long in the 1980s, but I do have some classic family photos to share from late spring/early summer of 1982. Mama was a bridesmaid in her cousin Beth's wedding, and my sister Emily, then three and a half years old, was on flower girl duty. The attire is all-around awesome in this one -- let's check it out!

Mom (at left above) had described her bridesmaids dress to me when she told me about the sweet outfit she made for Emily, but I didn't have a mental picture of it. When I saw the photos, it totally exceeded my expectations of awesomeness! I love the blousy cut and the accordion-pleated skirt. I mean, hey, at least it's comfortable and easy to wear, if nothing else! I asked Mom if she still had this dress, but, alas, she does not.

This is one of the formal shots. (Sorry about that lighting, bridesmaid in the back. Tough cookies!) Beth's dress has long sleeves and a high neck, much like some of the 70s dresses we've seen, but she's added a new element with the bridal hat. Yowza! But enough about the bride and the bridesmaids, I know y'all are really here for the flower girl...

Look at that angel face! That blinding blond bowl cut! She's a vision in peach, isn't she? Mom made Emily's precious dotted dress with a smocked white pinafore. I know exactly where the dress is still hanging in the hall closet at my parents' house (and I probably wore it a time or two growing up as well). Also, how pretty is my mama? Just sayin'.

We're not having a flower girl in our wedding. I could say that that's because we don't know any willing and able little girls, but really it's just that no one can compete with three and a half-year-old Emily for cuteness. What would be the point in trying?

A realization...

Uh, do I have to have the name-change situation all sorted out when we go to get our marriage license? If so, I may have to hold off a little while... Jon wanted to get it next week sometime, but that may still be too soon. Aaaack! What to doooo?! I need to consult some wise relatives and friends for counsel and do a lot of pondering, and fast!

[Unrelated: Old-Timey Tuednesday coming up after work once I get home to my scanner! New decade! Get ready for greatness.]

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Pastor meeting no. 3

This afternoon Jon and I had our third and final pre-wedding meeting with our pastor, David. The next time we'll all get together will be for the wedding rehearsal on May 21! (Of course, I'll see the minister from the choir loft every Sunday between now and then.) The main task at today's meeting was to get the order of service ironed out.

I had drafted a program last week based on the program from a friend's wedding in the church, laid it out in InDesign and printed it up in a booklet, as it will eventually be produced. I also brought a printout of the poem and the text of the song we've selected for the ceremony so the pastor could voice any objections then and there, should he have any. (He didn't.) After catching up on life since our last meeting, we basically ran down the page and looked for things to be changed. There wasn't much, which was good -- I think I am supposed to change a "prayer of thanksgiving" to a regular old "prayer," and that's about it.

I finally confirmed most of the ceremony music this past Sunday when the music director/brilliant organist told me, at long last, that the vocal setting of a secular poem we want our friend to sing will be allowed. Glory! Having this settled made the scripture and the order of the second half of the program fall right into place. The only remaining things to be determined are processional music for the mamas (almost settled) and the bridesmaids (no idea), how best to list the composition titles and composers and who will be reading which scripture.

Our meeting ended on a humorous note... I don't remember how we got here, but at some point David asked us, "Have you seen Billy Madison?" Jon and I both scoffed, Ha! Have we seen Billy Madison. Really. Apparently David's boys, 8 and 10, are just beginning to enjoy this sort of humor, and they were watching it the other day on TV. For a minute or two, the three of us riffed on the academic decathlon scenes, specifically Billy's rambling response about the puppy that lost its way. I think we did a good job picking our officiant!

I'm hoping to tie up the loose ends within the next week or so so I can find a printer and get these things out of the way! The less I have to worry about later on, the better.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Dave & Lindsay are married!

Shortly after I posted on Friday evening, Jon and I headed down to the airport to catch our flight to Baltimore. Less than 24 hours later we were checking in at the Baltimore airport to come home to Atlanta! It was a really quick trip, but we were so happy we were able to be at Dave and Lindsay's wedding. Both the ceremony and the reception were very much community efforts, with lots of family and friends participating and contributing, which was really cool. Here are some snapshots from the proceedings:

Dave and Lindsay (wearing her mother's gown)
emerge from the chapel as husband and wife

Inside the chapel there were pinwheels on all of the
pews to help make things festive. It was super windy
outside, so it was pretty ideal pinwheeling weather!

Jon and Dave, reunited at long last.

Lindsay and Dave cut the cake, made for them by the pastry
chef at Brauhaus Schmitz, where Dave bartends. Ja wohl!

And then they kept cutting. Look at that intensity!
All the guests had delicious cake in no time.

Dave ran inside the house to get some fancy beer as
the afternoon wore on. That is a happy fellow there, folks.

And last, but certainly not least, a picture of us all together!

As they noted, we'll be taking a similar picture next month with the roles reversed. Dave is one of Jon's groomsmen, and he and Lindsay are planning to get in town a couple of days before our wedding, so we'll have more time to visit then. Wahoo!