Monday, July 12, 2010

Just say thank you*

In the months leading up to the wedding, I was a thank you note-writing machine. Gifts would arrive on our doorstep one afternoon and I would drop the notes in the mailbox for pickup the next morning on my way to work. Not only did this practice prevent a backlog, it also helped me write better notes I think -- the excitement of getting a wedding present, even if it was something rather unglamorous like a single plate, from a friend or relative definitely gave me some momentum.

As the wedding day drew nearer, the volume of presents being delivered increased, as one might expect. I was able to stay on top of things until the week of the wedding, at which point I threw in the towel, reasoning that people would surely understand if it took a few weeks for me to get to thanking them. I'd just knock them out after the honeymoon. Right?

Not so much. Here I am more than a month after returning from our trip to Canada and I've got close to (more than?) 20 notes outstanding. First I said I'd have them done before the puppy arrived (June 25); then it was the end of the month; the end of the month became the end of the 4th of July holiday weekend. You can see where this is going. I came across a blog post last week that mentioned that brides and grooms have eight weeks to finish writing their thank-yous and realized that eight weeks from the wedding is this coming weekend. AGH! When I revisited the post I saw that the thank-you deadline is eight weeks from the end of the honeymoon, according to the author, Anne Chertoff, so I've got until the end of the month.

Of course, I had to check in with Emily Post, master of etiquette, as well to see what her take on the proper thank you note timeline is:
Contrary to popular myth, the happy couple does not have a year’s grace period. All thank you notes should be written within three months of the receipt of the gift.
Three months! What a relief! My goal now is to have all the notes written by the time I leave for the beach with my family a week from Friday, but it's good to know I'll still be within the window of good taste if I sit on them a while longer.

Did anyone else experience a lack of thank you note motivation post-wedding? Do you think there's a certain window of time in which gift-givers should be thanked, or is a thank you note, whenever it arrives, courtesy enough? Do you enjoy writing thank yous, or do you think they're a pain?

*please tell me someone knows where this post title comes from!


  1. I certainly did. I, like you, kept up very well before the wedding and threw in the towel a few days before. I finished mine before Thanksgiving, within two months post-wedding. Glad I have the blessing of Emily Post! I wouldn't worry about it too much-- you'll get them done and people do understand you have a life and all :)

  2. Em 3 months! That was my goal but I just posted the last ones today and we are almost at 4 months!

    Never mind im blaming it on the fact our honeymoon was quite long then I had to make the cards and then write all 92 of them!!!

    I did get a bit annoyed with them but wrote them in little bits!

  3. Ours have been sitting on our dining room table untouched for about 2 weeks now. They're all laid out beautifully, ready to go and organized, but still...
    Yours are so pretty! Love the Buttermilk...

  4. Thanks! And yeah, totally didn't meet my pre-beach completion goal... oh well. Now I'm hoping to get them done before August 22!