Monday, December 13, 2010

dueling weddings

It's bound to happen sooner or later: two (or more) of your engaged friends choose the same date for their weddings. In a best-case scenario, the events will be in the same city at different times of day; worst-case, they'll be in different parts of the country, making the timing irrelevant. How do you pick? As a couple, you can try to divide-and-conquer tactic, but I find that approach unsatisfying: unless I can split myself in two and be more than one place at once, I'm gonna be missing something.

For months and months now, I've known that two awesome weddings on my calendar would fall on the same day. I've agonized, I've puzzled, I've kept mum about the conflict to any of the to-be-wedded parties and I've dreaded eventually having to pick between these two pairs:

Couple no. 1
Jon and I are both friends with both halves of this couple, whom we met in our grad school program at Syracuse. (They actually came to the program as a couple, while Jon and I met and got together there.) The groom-to-be was a groomsman in our wedding (which is where the photo at left, by Our Labor of Love, comes from), the bride-to-be is the most stylish person I know, and they're both brilliant writers and hilarious people. They're getting hitched in their hometown of Pittsburgh, and you know it's gonna be badass, because these kids know how to party.

Couple no. 2
I've been friends with this groom-to-be since junior high. We sang together then and we sing together now in the ASO chorus and in church choir, where he met his lovely fiancee. He and Jon became friends (via me) not long after we arrived in Atlanta and even had a few workday lunches together. The bride-to-be and I became fast friends sitting next to each other in church choir and rooming together on our symphony chorus trip to Berlin last December (during which the photo at left was taken). Jon and I ran into this couple on their first date and have been hanging out with them ever since.

How on earth am I supposed to choose??

May 14 is the big day for both of these couples... or so I thought! I swear I must be psychic because just this weekend, I was wishfully thinking that one of them would move their wedding date -- totally unrealistic, but I wished it nonetheless**. In retrospect, I'll call it a premonition. I was sad after some wedding-related conversations with couple no. 2 that I might not be able to be a part of their celebration, but I resolved to wait for more details on couple no. 1 before I committed one way or the other and confessed my decision.

And then! Last night, just before I snapped my laptop shut for the night, I got an email from couple no. 1 with the subject line "SAVE THE DATE! ______ & _____'s Wedding — May 7, 2011!" Jon had retired about 10 minutes earlier, but as soon as I saw the email, I shouted down the hall to him, "Ooh! OOOH! Exciting news!!!" Problem solved! I guess our grad school friends have done some shuffling since last we talked in specifics about their wedding, which was some time ago. (I don't like to bother people for wedding details even though I totally want to know them, let's be honest. Call it etiquette, whatever.)

Anyway, I'm totally thrilled that this has worked out, but I know things don't and won't always shake out like this. It's such a relief!

*I didn't want to splash my friends' photos, names and wedding business all over the internet without asking and I really dislike referring to people by their initials (plus, how would you know which is the girl-initial and which is the boy-initial?), so this is my solution.

** I was actually going to blog about my mental anguish over this situation today even before I got that email... I'm TOTALLY psychic!


  1. WOW you lucked out! Long story short, I had 2 good friends get married on the same day. One was a college friend who had asked me to be in her bridal party & the other my BFF who was also my MOH. It was kind of a no-brainer since my MOH is basically my sister but having to back out of the other wedding was pretty rough. The other bride totally understood but I felt terrible.

  2. What luck you have! Most of our friends aren't getting hitched just yet, but we do have some upcoming weddings that won't be easy to squeeze into our schedules!

  3. yay! glad things worked out...i hope i never have to choose like this...but supposedly all of my friends are "against marriage" and "could never be that dependent" lately...or so they say to the girl pumped about tying that badass knot with her dude. (i SWEAR to you i don't blab on and on about it) the future, i won't cranky comment.